Hello, Beauts! Welcome back to the Relationship Scale for Kotoko and Noaki, Part 3. In this installment, I’m going to do a deep dive into Kotoko and Noaki now that they’re married, with parts 3 and 4 focusing on their relationship. I’m curious—how do you all feel about Kotoko and Noaki getting married at this stage in their lives? They didn’t get along as friends, didn’t have a dating period, had a short engagement, and married at a young age. What conclusions do you draw about this couple? Let me know!
Episode 13: Love Period
After Naoki brings Christine home, his mother outright disapproves of her because she prefers Kotoko to marry him. What I liked about this scene is that Kotoko tells his mother that it’s fine and that she did the right thing by setting aside her selfish feelings. I enjoy seeing that Kotoko is considerate and respectful of Naoki’s feelings. Kotoko: RESPECT.
In this episode, we find out that in the episode Kiss, Kiss, Kiss in a Dream, Naoki kissed Kotoko while she was sleeping when they were at the romantic village. Look, I find this scene incredibly romantic and sweet because it shows that Naoki does have feelings for Kotoko. However, I can’t help but feel that this scene is a bit problematic for a couple of reasons. First, Naoki kissed her without permission again. I know that if she were awake, she would have consented, but I don’t understand why he had to take that experience from her. Second, Naoki could have avoided making things more complicated by simply telling Kotoko that he was starting to develop feelings for her. Naoki really fails to communicate what’s on his mind, which leads to multiple problems in the future. Noaki: DISRESPECTFUL AND LACK OF COMMUNICATION.
Episode 14: Greatest Kiss
Once Naoki finds out about Kotoko’s engagement, he waits for her in the rain with an umbrella. We learn that Naoki is there to confirm whether Kinnosuke’s proposal is true and to find out her response. Kotoko decides not to disclose her answer, then informs Naoki that she will be moving out and plans to marry Kinnosuke. Naoki then asks if Kotoko loves Kinnosuke, and she lies, saying that she does and that she’s tired of chasing after unrequited love. This prompts Naoki to tell her that she only loves him and no one else, which causes Kotoko to admit that what he said is true. After ranting about how he doesn’t love her back, he touches her cheek and gives her a kiss. After the kiss, Naoki tells her never to say that she loves another man. He then gives her a peck on the cheek and tells her that he doesn’t need to count how many times they’ve kissed anymore. Honestly, the kiss was very sweet and tender, and the rainy atmosphere added a hopeful touch to the romantic moment. I liked how he realized he would lose Kotoko forever if she married another man, but has he considered that he might have lost her if he married Christine? In Japan, engagement periods are often short, so I wonder if he did end up marrying Christine. A part of me predicts he would have backed out at the ceremony and finally admitted to himself that he likes Kotoko. For someone as intellectual as him, he really didn’t think this through. Why is Naoki so possessive of her when she doesn’t give him her full attention? Also, Kotoko shouldn’t have to disclose anything about her relationship with Kinnosuke, but lying to herself about loving him shows that she doesn’t feel worthy of someone she truly wants. She could find another intelligent guy who would treat her with much more respect. It’s not the end of the world if Naoki doesn’t choose Kotoko. I don’t believe she respects herself enough to realize that she deserves more than what she has now. Noaki: INTIMACY.
Once Kotoko and Naoki go home, he asks Kotoko’s father for permission to marry her, which shocks both of their families. He intends to marry her after they graduate college, which would allow enough time for a proper engagement period. I liked that he was upfront with her dad about wanting to spend the rest of his life with her, but hold your horses—dramatic pause. They never had a proper dating period, and they were barely friends, so it’s hard to believe that Kotoko and he are truly ready for marriage. Not to mention that they are still teenagers in college. We’ve seen before that Naoki doesn’t think things through and sometimes disrespects Kotoko. Kotoko’s feelings stemmed from a teenage crush, not mature love. Like, WHAT DO THEY HAVE IN COMMON?! Nonetheless, this is a huge milestone: a couple getting engaged, and Naoki did it in the most respectful way. Both: LACK OF FRIENDSHIP FOUNDATION & FAMILY PROGRESSION.
After Kotoko recovers from fainting from realizing that the proposal is real, Naoki checks on Kotoko. Before Noaki leaves to sleep, Kotoko grabs his shirts and tells him that she is worried that Noaki will disrespect her again in the morning. What Kotoko fails to realize (because she has never been in a relationship before) is that getting together with someone will not make their treatment towards you go away good or bad. Noaki offers to sleep next to each other, but Kotoko is uncomfortable with that suggestion. When Kotoko asks for confirmation if he truly wants to be with her, Noaki says, “I think you’ve turned me into a masochist.” I chuckled when I heard this line because it reminds me of a line from a movie. Would you care to take a guess on who said this line:“What a sick, masochistic lion.” So, does this mean that he is attracted to her because he causes her emotional pain and humiliation? I had a bad feeling when he said this, it did not sit well with me. Kotoko tells him she loves him, and does not say it back. Instead he tells her he knows that she loves him then proceeds to hug her while softly saying he loves her. Two things, first, does any woman find it odd that the first time Noaki says, ‘i love you’ until after they are engaged. I know that this is a different country, and things are different there, so I would like to hear it from the Japanese readers’ input in this. Second, let’s not ignore another milestone where Noaki does tell Kotoko he does love her back. Noaki: DISRESPECT. Both: FAMILY PROGRESSION. Naoki: AFFECTION.
In the middle of the wedding, Naoki is understandably upset that his mother forced him to get married while he was still in college. I wonder if Naoki doesn’t have the backbone to say no to his mother, or if he genuinely wants to marry Kotoko but pretends to be angry. Either way, this is not a good way to start a marriage. Anyway, he tells Kotoko that she looks beautiful, which adds a nice touch to the ceremony—so take that as you will. Aww, I can’t ignore this compliment, especially when it’s a groom fawning over his wife. ૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა <3. Noaki: AFFECTION.
While exchanging rings, Naoki corrects Kotoko on where to place the ring. This is when she takes the opportunity to confide in him, telling him that she has been in love with him for a while. He attempts to deny it, but she tells him that she knows he kissed her while she was asleep at the romantic village. I don’t understand why he’s trying to deny it when they’re about to get married. Then, she proceeds to give him a big kiss at the altar, leaving him speechless. This is such a cute moment at the wedding. Kotoko: INTIMACY.
She makes a little speech about how she has fun with Naoki, even though he used to bully her, which surprised me that she said that. Naoki wasn’t just playfully teasing her; he was outright nasty to her. I feel so sorry for her. I’m going to say it now—this marriage was a mistake. Kotoko: LACK OF SELF-RESPECT.
Episode 15: Honeymoon Panic!
On their way to their honeymoon, Kotoko tells Naoki that she is in his hands. Naoki responds by telling her that she is inexperienced and that he’s not surprised. Kotoko assures him that she will work hard to be a good wife for him and begs him not to abandon her. Naoki tells her that he doesn’t have high expectations of her, so she should stay exactly as she is. SO CUTE! KAWAII!!
It’s important to communicate if you feel insecure in the relationship, but asking Naoki not to abandon her sounds like an unstable foundation. Kotoko seems insecure about this relationship. Naoki’s reassurance that she shouldn’t feel the need to dramatically change to please him is such an important thing to say to your spouse. This kind of reassurance will help Kotoko feel more confident in the relationship. Noaki: LOVE LANGUAGE( WORDS OF AFFIRMATION). Kotoko: COMMUNICATION AND LACK OF SELF- RESPECT.
Horiuchi knocks on Kotoko and Naoki’s door to plead with Naoki to help Mari with her stomach pains. Kotoko tells them to get a tour guide and go to the hospital. Kotoko freaks out and yells at Naoki not to touch another woman. Naoki gets mad at her and tells her that he’s in medical school. He then harshly says that if she’s this jealous, they won’t spend the rest of their lives together. Naoki isn’t entirely wrong, but he should have phrased it more gently instead of using such a ruthless tone. Kotoko was the one who encouraged him to become a doctor, and he’s happy with the path he chose. Kotoko must have known (before they were married) that Naoki would sometimes need to check on patients by touching them. I know that Mari was faking her illness, but if this were a real-life scenario, Kotoko’s jealousy would be out of line. Since they didn’t know that Mari was pretending to be sick, Kotoko doesn’t seem to trust Naoki to be faithful. Noaki: DISRESPECTFUL. Kotoko: LACK OF TRUST.
AAfter Naoki finds Kotoko, they have a moment alone together. She apologizes for getting jealous, and Naoki understands why she feels that way, then kisses her. After their kiss, Naoki notes that they haven’t had much alone time together, but Kotoko says it’s alright because she’s happy being by his side. Naoki feels like spending time together isn’t enough, which suggests he wants to take their relationship further. They end up consummating their marriage. It’s such a beautiful moment where Kotoko is remorseful, Naoki is understanding, and they end up making love.. Kotoko: CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT. Noaki: RESPECTFUL. BOTH: FAMILY PROGRESSION (CONSUMMATING THE RELATIONSHIP).
After they return from their honeymoon, Kotoko announces that she will become a nurse to be a worthy wife for Naoki. She should make this career change on her own, not for anyone else, but she seems committed regardless. Besides, she didn’t choose a career that she hates, so I don’t think she will resent herself for choosing this path. However, I see that she is codependent on Naoki. She reminds me of Bella from the Twilight series, where she has no aspirations in life unless they are with Edward forever. Can she make a decision that has nothing to do with Naoki? Making sacrifices for your partner is a healthy thing, but not when you devote your whole life to them and make decisions solely because of them. After facing criticism from her family, Naoki steps in to encourage Kotoko to pursue this path. Noaki: LOVE LANGUAGE( WORDS OF AFFIRMATION). Kotoko: LACK OF SELF-RESPECT.
Episode 16: Chasing After Happiness
On their marriage bed, Naoki notices that something is wrong with Kotoko. Kotoko tells him that her stomach feels weird. Naoki checks her forehead and realizes that she has a slight fever. He tells her that if she feels the same way tomorrow, she should go to the doctor and get some medicine. I know that Naoki’s dream is to become a doctor, but I’m a bit delighted that he was checking on her to see if she was sick. I know that anyone in a family would do the same thing, but the fact that Naoki’s history involved him being selfish most of the time shows some growth, in my opinion. Noaki: FRIENDSHIP FOUNDATION.
Episode 17: Enviable New Face
When Kotoko is in her nursing college course, she makes new friends who are admirers of Naoki. I see this as a red flag because she should not hide the fact that she is married to him. Naoki is not a perfect being (only his admirers think he is). For example, if Naoki were to hide that he was married to Kotoko because she is not as smart as he is, I’m sure fans would be outraged. It should be treated the same way—Kotoko shouldn’t hide that she married an intelligent man. She should have been honest with her friends and proud of being married to the man she waited so long for. Kotoko: DISRESPECTFUL.
Kotoko and her friends go to a restaurant so that most of her friends can get better acquainted. Kotoko becomes understandably jealous of how social Naoki is with the other girls. I say understandably because they are flirting with him, and Naoki is not naive enough to miss the attention, yet he doesn’t push back. While this is happening, Kotoko ends up drunk while talking to Keita and starts to talk about how popular and rare Naoki is. Keita points out that Kotoko is struggling in class because she is too focused on Naoki. Kotoko gets defensive about his observation, and then Keita hits back, telling her that he doesn’t respect her because she is only becoming a nurse because her husband is becoming a doctor. I can see that Kotoko is angry because what Keita is saying is true, and she cannot properly counter his claims. Kotoko is overly dependent on Naoki because of her weaknesses. Now, this isn’t just about Kotoko’s behavior—we’ve talked about her dependency before—but about Naoki outright disrespecting her by not doing anything about the girls flirting with him. Noaki: DISRESPECTFUL.
When Kotoko ends up falling asleep because she’s drunk, Naoki and her friends notice it. Naoki decides to call it a night and take her home. Keita gets angry at how Naoki is paying attention to his admirers rather than his wife. Naoki gets angry at Keita and tells him that it’s none of his business. It’s true that no one should be involved in husband-and-wife issues unless there is physical abuse. It’s better to stay out of a marriage—trust me, lesson learned. Anyway, the fact that Naoki carries her home is a kind gesture when she cannot fully function. Noaki: FRIENDSHIP FOUNDATION.
Episode 18: Mannered Triangle
In college, Kotoko and Naoki have lunch together. As they talk about how Kotoko struggles with performing a needle shot, Kotoko’s friends join their table, including Keita, which is already a recipe for disaster. Keita volunteers to pair up with Kotoko after Naoki says he doesn’t have time to help (and this is where Keita starts stirring the pot, and I’m here for it!). Naoki gets jealous and walks away. It’s not Kotoko’s fault that she accepts Keita’s help because she’s unaware of the tension between Naoki and Keita. It’s understandable why Naoki says no: 1) it causes fights between him and his wife, 2) he doesn’t have the patience to teach Kotoko, and 3) he’s also busy with college. I also liked that Naoki walked away from a potential fight instead of giving into the bait. Noaki: CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT.
After Kotoko finally draws blood from Keita, she quickly tries to give the vial to Naoki. However, Naoki downplays the accomplishment, making Kotoko feel bad about herself. Naoki knows she has been working hard on this, and it was out of line for him to say that. He’s holding in his jealousy and taking it out on her, which is completely unfair because if he should be mad at anyone, it should be Keita, not his wife. Kotoko has never flirted with Keita; she is completely faithful to her husband. I am so frustrated by this scene. It made me really angry, especially that Kotoko somehow ends up blaming herself, thinking he was right to belittle her work. Noaki: UNSUPPORTIVE & DISRESPECTFUL. Kotoko: LACK OF SELF-RESPECT.
Kotoko and her friends plan to go out to cheer up Moto. When she sees Naoki, she asks if it’s okay to go out drinking with her friends. She tells him that her group of friends will be there, including Keita. Kotoko was being considerate and kind by asking if it’s okay and being transparent about who would be there. Despite the way she executed her request, Naoki tells her not to ask him about every little thing and that she should make her own decisions. Then, he walks away from her. Oh my gosh! What is wrong with this man? He unnecessarily puts down his wife. He could have told her that he is uncomfortable with her hanging out with Keita and politely asked her not to go because Keita is being disrespectful of their marriage. Naoki really has a hard time communicating his feelings, and it’s hurting their marriage. Kotoko: COMMUNICATION. Noaki: DISRESPECTFUL & LACK OF COMMUNICATION.
Episode 19: Crazy for you
After the group hangs out, Keita and Kotoko walk together to go home. When Keita implies that she should be with him, Kotoko rejects his advances and tells him that she is a married woman. Kotoko did the right thing and maintained her loyalty to her husband. Kotoko: COMMITMENT.
Kotoko goes home early. When she sees Naoki, she should have told him what Keita said and how she responded. However, Naoki has been avoidant of her, which is completely unfair. If he keeps shutting down his wife, the lack of communication will only worsen their relationship.Kotoko: LACK OF COMMUNICATION. Noaki: DISRESPECTFUL.
In their room, Kotoko asks Naoki if they can spend time together at the park, but Naoki is busy with a conference. I understand that he has other obligations, but he is also intentionally not spending time with his wife because he blames her for Keita having feelings for her. Naoki has been avoiding and belittling her, so rejecting her feels like he doesn’t care to spend time with his wife. What stings even more is that he doesn’t suggest an alternative plan for when he is free. Someone who is truly committed to you will NEVER fail to make plans with you, whether it’s staying at home and watching shows together or going out. Kotoko: FRIENDSHIP FOUNDATION. Noaki: LACK OF FRIENDSHIP FOUNDATION & DISRESPECTFUL.
In their room, Kotoko asks Naoki if they can spend time together at the park, but Naoki is busy with a conference. I understand that he has other obligations, but he is also intentionally not spending time with his wife because he blames her for Keita having feelings for her. Naoki has been avoiding and belittling her, so rejecting her feels like he doesn’t care to spend time with his wife. What stings even more is that he doesn’t suggest an alternative plan for when he is free. Someone who is truly committed to you will NEVER fail to make plans with you, whether it’s staying at home and watching shows together or going out. Both: ABUSIVE. Kotoko: COMPARING YOUR PARTNER (DISRESPECTFUL). Both: LACK OF COMMUNICATION.
Keita tries to get Kotoko to be with him because Naoki doesn’t care about her, despite knowing how Keita feels about Kotoko. Naoki cuts in to say that’s not true. Keita argues that Naoki’s treatment of Kotoko isn’t making her happy. Naoki admits that Keita is right and then confesses that he was jealous of Keita. In his confession, he says that he can be his true self when Kotoko is by his side and that he needs her. When he confirms to Kotoko that he needs her, she runs into his arms and exclaims that she will never leave him. Honestly, Kotoko should have stopped being friends with Keita once she knew about his feelings. Keita overstepped when it was none of his business and continued to make advances toward a married woman. Kotoko maintaining her friendship with him, despite knowing his feelings, only worsened things for her marriage. There’s no coming back from a friend crushing on you while you’re in a relationship. This is beside the point, but when they went into their room to kiss, it sounds like more than kisses occurred in their room (wink).. Noaki: COMMUNICATION & TAKE ACCOUNTABILITY. Kotoko: FRIENDSHIP FOUNDATION. Both: AFFECTION ; – ).
Episode 20: The Nightingale Pledge
Kotoko gets excited about the capping ceremony in her nursing course because the partners give each other flowers. But when Kotoko brings up the ceremony and the flower tradition to Naoki, she mentions that he has a conference. That’s fine if Naoki is unavailable because of his education. However, he unnecessarily says, “Why would I bring flowers to you? It’s embarrassing and stupid.” Boy, this is your wife who made this accomplishment meaningful to her, and he doesn’t have the decency to say that he’s sorry he can’t make it? Not even telling her how he will make it up to her when he returns home? Last episode, he was a wreck when he lost her, and now he’s treating her this way? If I lost my partner and they came back, I wouldn’t purposely do or say anything to chase them away again. He takes her for granted and thinks only about himself. Is he not going to try to be better to keep her around? He’s not going to change!!!Noaki: DISRESPECTFUL (BELITTLE), LACK OF COMMUNICATIONS, DISRESPECTFUL (TAKING PARTNER FOR GRANTED).
After the capping ceremony everyone leaves while Kotoko stays at the ceremony. When she is the only one there, Naoki shows up. Noaki tells her that he was able to catch the last train back home, but the flower shop was closed. He asks her to recite the nightingale pledge, and that is it.So basically, he is giving her the bare minimum. Funny isn’t it, he was able to make it on the same day, but put her down for no reason. After this scene he does not apologize to her, so he is not remorseful for what he said to her. IS SHE SO DUMB THAT SHE DOES NOT SEE THE RED FLAGS!? Noaki: LACK OF CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT ( LACK OF APOLOGY) & DISRESPECTFUL (TAKING PARTNER FOR GRANTED). Kotoko: LACK OF SELF RESPECT.
Four years have passed, and Kotoko and Naoki work in the same hospital. I don’t know about you, but if a wife is getting jealous over her husband checking a patient’s temperature too much, what do you think? Kotoko: LACK OF TRUST.