Religious Affiliations: That is right; we are starting off with a bang, and before you click away from a touchy matter, you might want to hear what I have to say. I believe this is important when choosing a mate because it can cause issues in the relationship, depending on how devoted you are. For example, suppose you are a Christian who does not celebrate Halloween, but your mate does celebrate it. Or imagine you are Jewish and do not celebrate Christmas, while your potential partner likes to celebrate it. If you both choose to ignore these differences until you have kids, that is a recipe for disaster. When you have kids, it becomes extremely hard to ignore these differences because you tend to raise them with your own values and beliefs. The point is that when choosing a mate, it’s important to discuss each other’s ideologies to determine if you are compatible with that person. Don’t feel like there’s no one out there for you if you hold these beliefs. If there’s one person who believes as you do, then there’s likely someone who is looking for someone like you!
Political Preference: Yes, another touchy subject. Please stay with me so we can get through this topic together. If political topics are not something you’re into, that is completely fine. However, if you meet someone who is looking for a person interested in politics, it’s best to let that person go. Political matters can strain a relationship if all you do is disagree about the way the president is governing the country, which side of the conflict you support, or what is fair when the law is broken. While it is okay to agree to disagree, it becomes intolerable when these disagreements cause tension.
Be Realistic, Not Picky: Yes, it is important to be physically attracted to your partner, no doubt about it. However, keep in mind that looks do not last forever. Our weight keeps changing due to stress, pregnancy, or health issues. Our hair will turn gray or we may go bald. Our energy slows down, and you will not be able to move the same way as when you were young. The point is that you need to ask yourself: would I stay with this man when his body changes? Another good question is: would you want this man to stay with you if your body changes? How beautiful is attraction when someone does not give a second thought about being with you while you are evolving into your next self. Be attracted, but do not be superficial.
Embrace Unexpected Qualities: For example, you might desire a gentle, soft-spoken, and sensitive man as a potential partner, but if you meet someone who is strong, loud-spoken, and resilient, do not be quick to reject him. People can surprise you if you give them a chance, which also applies to dating. If it does not work out with this man, then ask yourself why it didn’t: lack of common interests? Disrespectful manners? Long distance? Keep these questions in mind because no one has ever said that a strong, loud-spoken, and resilient man makes a bad partner. Non-ideal qualities do not automatically mean that someone is a bad partner.
Embracing Imperfection: When I was younger, I thought there was going to be a perfect man who would meet my every need and want, meaning he would never let me down. It is unwise to approach dating with the expectation of finding a flawless man who cannot do anything wrong. If you have this mentality, you are essentially dismissing everyone. Do not be scared off by his bad habits, because we all have them; why should a partner be excluded from any flaws? Think of your family or friends’ annoying habits. Is the relationship perfect? No. Is the relationship worth keeping? Yes, because flaws are expected in any relationship.
